Relationship
I've come to realize that at the heart of ministry, it’s all about relationships. Not programs, not platforms, just people. For me, it starts with being willing to meet others right where they are, without expectations, and no pressure to change first. Just an open heart and a genuine welcome.
But I’ve also learned that real relationships—deep, meaningful ones—aren’t always easy. They come with challenges; mistakes are sometimes made and misunderstandings happen. And yet, I’ve seen how those moments can actually become opportunities for growth when I choose to face them with humility, prayer, and the wisdom Jesus gives us in Matthew 18. It’s not always comfortable, but staying respectful and committed to working things out makes all the difference.
When we live that way, something beautiful happens: the church starts to feel like a true family. Not perfect, but real. Joyful. Strong. A little glimpse of what heaven’s family must be like. And honestly, being part of that kind of community is one of the greatest gifts God has given me.
Proverbs 18:24
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
— Ephesians 4:2-3
I believe that ministry begins with friendship, which means that to be an effective minister, I’m called to reach out and connect with people. Proverbs 18:24 shows me that I’m called to be friendly. Lasting relationships also require humility, patience, and love, as I’m reminded of in Ephesians 4:2-3. When I welcome others as they are and stay committed through challenges, I can reflect the heart of Christ and help build a church that feels like family, which is, to me, a glimpse of heaven on earth.
Taking a selfie earlier this year with the PBE team that I coach after the Oklahoma Conference PBE event where we and seven other teams received first place. Coaching PBE is one of my favorite ways to build relationships with the young people in the churches I pastor.
In this moment, I’m rock climbing with my church family on a church campout where the bonds of friendship were deepened around the fire, on the rocks, and along the dusty hiking trails of the Wichita Mountains.
This is me digging into God’s word at Ardmore Adventist Academy and nurturing relationships through the study and discussion of the Bible.
One of the things that I have enjoyed doing over the past five years of ministry is volunteering at Ardmore Adventist Academy. Here I am connecting with our young people by leading a P.E. class.
Here I am with my family spending time out on lake Texoma with members of the Ardmore Church who are wiser in years. We had a great time cruising around the lake and enjoying some good home cooking at their campsite.
A Relationship Tool
Of all the relationships there are in the world, marriage, next to our walk with God, is the most sacred. In the context of a local church, healthy families contribute greatly to healthy churches. In order to help facilitate the growth of vibrant families, I went through the Prepare Enrich Facilitator Training. This training has allowed me to better cooperate with God in helping marriages get started on the right path or in helping revitalize marriages that were on the rocks.
Relationship Resources
The following are a few of the books that I have enjoyed learning from over the past five years to better equip myself to help others experience “something better” in their marriages.
So it is through personal contact and association that men are reached by the saving power of the gospel. They are not saved in masses, but as individuals. Personal influence is a power. We must come close to those whom we desire to benefit.
— Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, p. 36